ridiculous doesn't fall far from the ridiculous tree

to a post on the sister's blog

i have a problem with this

I don't get it. Don't seek us out. I hate guys with Asian fetish.

just checked my email

Weird. Right after I made that "Dear Amy" post, I checked my email and got this from the Fain who I need to publicly apologize to after embarrassing the mess out of myself in front of him last night. I apologize in hopes that he'll forget about the whole incident. Please.

Dear Alcohol,
First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer withthe game, and you're even around in the holidays hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences, briefed below for your review.
1. Phone Calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not what to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?
2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a kabob with chili sauce, along with a big Italian hoagie & some stale chips (washed down with chocolate Nesquik & topped off with a Kit Kat, all after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.
3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day is beyond me. Similarly, it should nevertake me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.
4. Pictures: This can be a blessing in disguise, as it can often clarify the last point below, but the following costumes are banned from ever being placed on my head in public again: Indian wigs, sombreros, bows, ties, boxes, upside-down cups, inflatable balloon animals, traffic cones, or bras. Also, what is with you making me take pictures with people I clearly don't like when I'm sober, yet they suddenly become my best friends when a flash is presented?
5. Beer Goggles: If I think I may know him/her from somewhere, I most likely do not. Please do not request that I go over & see if in fact, I do actually know that person. The phrase "Let's F***" is illegal from now on. While I may be thinking this, please reinstate the brain-to-mouth-block that would stop this thought from becoming a statement, especially in public. Please stop me from talking to the guy/girl with the crooked teeth, acned-up face, bad breath, beer belly, etc. Why are they so appealing to me while I'm with you & why are they so disgusting to me the next morning after you have worn off??
6. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3 p.m. hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to bed/passing out facedown on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily Saturday or Sunday (or any day for that matter) activities.
Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3 p.m. (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.
Thank you, from your biggest fan.

dear amy,

Please stop being ridiculous and embarrassing yourself.

KThanks.

<3,
your dignity.

good thing? bad thing?

good thing? bad thing?

thanksgiving dinner was a success!!!

It's sad that this is the only picture of my 25 lb turkey...

FINALLY!!!

We got second place in TTT trivia!!! Finally!!!
It only took us the majority of the semester!

instead of doing my thesis in the library...

You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

You're A Passed Out Drunk

Drinking gives you that warm fuzzy feeling, until you're thrown in the back of a police car...

What Kind of Drunk Are You?

What Your Underwear Says About You

You tend to buy new underwear instead of doing laundry. You're a closet exhibitionist who gets a thrill from being secretly naughty.

The Underwear Oracle

You're an Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

You Are Likely A Fourth Born

At your darkest moments, you feel angry. At work and school, you do best when your analyzing. When you love someone, you tend to be very giving. In friendship, you don't take the initiative in reaching out. Your ideal jobs are: factory jobs, comedy, and dentistry. You will leave your mark on the world with your own personal philosophy.

The Birth Order Predictor

Your Kissing Purity Score: 31% Pure

You're not one to kiss and tell... But word is, you kiss pretty well.

Kissing Purity Test

Your Birthdate: March 23

You're not good at any one thing, and that's the problem. You're good at so much - you never know what to do. Change is in your blood, and you don't stick to much for long. You are destined for a life of travel and fun. Your strength: Your likeability Your weakness: You never feel satisfied Your power color: Bright yellow Your power symbol: Asterisk Your power month: May

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

On Average, You Would Sell Out For

$1,029,318

At What Price Would You Sell Out?

Your Mood Ring is Dark Red

Very happy Love Passion

Mood Ring Generator

fsu

Oh my god... this Saturday is my last game as an undergrad. Too real.

one crazy week...

Monday--Halloween 2005. I went out dressed ridiculously with my roommate, and we got all sorts of drunk between the Joint, Backstreets, TTTs, and TDs. People are crazy and awesome downtown for Halloween. My friends Daniel and Tom met up with us, and we ended up at the Huddle House til 3am-ish. Probably one of the best Halloweens ever.
Tuesday--I took it easy and indulged in some The Biggest Loser. Had a conversation that left me equal parts confused and sad.
Wednesday--Wednesday is now early morning library day when I try to work on my thesis until I have my thesis advising meeting followed by classes. This doesn't really bother me because I'm always looking forward to trivia at TTTs on Wednesday. We ended up staying at Backstreets til they absolutely kicked us out again. They do this by literally taking the darts out of your hands.
Thursday--I thought I'd stay home and take it easy, but since Ajay called to go out, I couldn't turn him down. I haven't hung out with him in forever. Within 15 minutes of being downtown, we were DDless. We struggled to find our way home. I'm here today though.
Friday--I helped out on the Habitat House again. By the time I was showered and cleaned up, Roe was in town so we immediately started working on bottles of wine before going to see Tigerama. We went downtown right after Tigerama, drank some shots and LITs, and engaged in a skirmish. The skirmish left me upset and scrambling around downtown alone and on the phone. Daniel offered to take me in to cheer me up some at the expense of my dignity. Apparently, drinking shots, drinks, and a bottle of wine and then playing circle of death lead to an extremely ridiculous me. I proceeded to embarrass myself in front of plenty of people I don't know. I couldn't find a ride home, so I got in trouble. Trouble ensued until 5am.
Saturday--Hammering outside my window woke me up at 8am. I dragged ass around the apartment and finally decided to go to tailgate and the game. I walked outside only to realize my car was in Lightsey. Daniel picked me up, Kat and her dad fed me vodka throughout the first half of the game, and I spent the second half of the game tailgating. After tailgating, I walked virtually a million miles from the baseball field to Lightsey. No nap... ended up downtown.
Sunday--After spending 5 of the last 6 days downtown, I decided to engage in some physical activity--disc golf. Apparently, I'm no good.

All this follows the pattern that this semester is taking and makes me believe I have some of the greatest friends. People who make me laugh, people who stood up for me, people who don't judge my ridiculousness, people who let me bellyache about the same heartache over and over, and people who make me feel better when I don't necessarily deserve it. <3

a butterface and the ultimate 80s chick

Two halloween costumes in one year? I love it!