year in review: 2005

As I've been embarrassed enough to admit, I've been watching a whole lot of the OC over the break (I know, I tried to avoid it for so long, but my sisters and I burned through 2 seasons in less than a week). I think in the first season's New Year's episode, Hailey says that the way you spend your New Year's is indicative of the way you'll spend your year. I'm thinking that's not true, OC. To ring in 2005, I had an amazing New Year's with ABG, and well, that's gone away so I'm going to have to write a letter to McG. (Plus, Ryan and Marissa share a New Year's kiss and everyone knows they don't even last through the season thanks to Oliver and Theresa.)
Originally, I thought about how I'd review 2005 as a year I wouldn't want to relive for all the heartbreaks and losses, but then I realized that that's just lame and weepy. Besides, the bad of 2005 really only amounts to two monumental things:

1) A break up that also broke friendships
2) Finding out I have fatty ear lobes

All in all, the good of 2005 will be remembered for much longer. And the outlook for 2006 is good. I'm going to graduate from Clemson, find something to do over the summer, then start grad school in the fall. The best part about starting a new year is that you have absolutely no clue what's going to happen. I can't even tell you the number of times in 2005 where I thought: How did my life come to this? Drinking with people in academia, floating around in a lazy river pool in Vegas, eating funnel cakes in the rain, getting on the catbus covered in baby oil, giggling on a buzz in history class, nightswimming with people you never thought you'd meet, finding yourself in a possible career that combines your undergraduate concentration with one of your true passions (lotion), catching glimpses of drunken moments that you wish you could remember, having fun at work, wandering around an unfamiliar city, going to bed every night in a hotel for three months, riding around on/in vehicles ranging from mopeds to utility vans, getting caught in a deluge in the heat of Charleston summer, cramming your friends and your friends' friends and your friends' friends' friends in a booth for TTT trivia every Wednesday, and living like a king with your best friend. None of this would I have imagined for 2005, but that's the best part about all of it. So while I'm drunk and stumbling around tomorrow night, be sure that I'll be thinking about all the great things to come.

not funny, myspace

This was my second friend request on myspace, second to the guy that made me join, of course. MORE insult to injury. But this guy says he went to my high school... umm, right.

insult to injury

I have this thing where whenever I feel like nothing's going right in the love life of me, I always get hit on by someone who really just makes everything absolutely worse. On my way up to Sanford for the first time, I stopped at Krystal burger to get some corn pups, and the cashier told me that the guy operating the deep fryer wanted to know if I had a boyfriend. Seeing as my boyfriend and I had just broken up, it was at first painful to lie and say that I did when mine had just dumped me, and then I realized it was even more painful that this guy thought something would happen there. Over the summer, I remember at one time when things weren't exactly going my way, I was asked out by a 45 year old GPW at work with glasses that magnified his eyes and a gold chain holding some sort of undistinguishable medallion. Or just the other day in Berkeley Place, I was having a bad morning and one of the construction workers started asking me questions about me and my life. That'd be a great notch on the belt.
Anyway, against my will, I joined myspace.com yesterday. My friend Joe suggested it, so I went ahead and joined without intentions of making it one of my top addictions like facebook. I checked my email this morning, and it said I had a new myspace message, and I was hoping it'd be some sort of message from a long lost friend who just happen to find me on myspace. No such luck. Here's what a found:

merry christmas to you, too

merry christmas!!!

christmas music addiction

What's going to happen to me after Christmas, when it's just not as acceptable to listen to Christmas music nonstop?
My favorites:
"All I Want for Christmas"-Mariah Carey
"My Grown Up Christmas List"-Kelly Clarkson
"Last Christmas"-Wham!
"Maybe this Christmas"-Ron Sexsmith
"This Gift"-98 degrees
"So This is Christmas"-John Lennon
"Baby It's Cold Outside"-Ray Charles
"Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays"-N*Sync
"Where Are You Christmas?"-Faith Hill

the old man's universal answers

"How much longer?"
-30 minutes
"What kind of nigri is this/what's in this sushi roll?"
-Yellowtail
"What fish did we catch?"
-Whiting

winter break stats

20 episodes of the O.C. in 24 hours=15 hours watching the O.C.+8 hours sleep+1 hour doing other stuff
48 hours since my last shower
4 days at home so far, 1 shower taken

the switch

I think it's "the switch" that turns you 180 from nice to cold.

tv break ups that break me up

Many of you guys see me as the slacker who never pays attention in class, the girl who sleeps unnecessary amounts, and/or the girl who gets drunk and makes a loud ass of herself. On the contrary, I would like to submit to you that this girl's got layers. To prove so, I will list to you the TV break ups that have sent me into (ridiculously embarrassing, yet completely real) tears:

Corey and Topanga--specifically the episode where they make up on the jungle gym
Grace and Nathan (played by Woody Harrelson)--the episode where Grace proposes and the subsequent episode
Eric and Donna--the promise ring episode and its subsequent episode (I like to think that Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is based on the subsequent episode.)
DJ and Steve--honestly, this is cause I had a crush on Steve
Ross and Rachel--if the episode where Ross starts to cry but then yells that they are "so over" does make you flinch, you officially suck ass.
Carrie and Aidan--both times. I've never been such a wreck as I am after watching these episodes.
David and Donna--remember how she was saving herself for him then he went off and had sex with his publicist? Way harsh.

Include to this list every episode of "The Wonder Years".

how to deal

It's icy out, I was up late studying for my 482 exam, and the darn thing got delayed 2 hours. Is 2 hours enough time to cram some more? Is 2 hours enough to catch a couple extra winks? Is 2 hours enough to resolve a 9 month heartache? The answer to all these rhetorical questions is an undoubtedly clear "no".
My sisters and I share probably the crappiest thing in common about the year 2005: we all found ourselves dumped by someone we once let yourselves, if even just for one second, believe would never break our hearts.
For me, my newly established singledom was coupled with a separation from a close friend. Realizing the complete awkwardness of the situation, I resolved to wait for an apology to show recognition of the fact that the days leading up to my 21st birthday were spent with my only best friend left behind who confessed he was literally afraid to leave me alone for any significant amount of time. When a reconciliation conversation finally came about, the words that were supposed to satiate me only included this: You'll never think what I did was right, and I'll never think what I did was wrong. Fair enough. When trying to decide how to deal, I was filled with thoughts of all the terrible things I could do. The doors are absolutely wide open when you're in a tight living situation. I let my mind get tied up in all this, but at the end of the day, I realized that any crazy ass shit I did would only lead them to say, "What a crazy bitch. She sucks." The best way to deal with all this is to lay low, don't make any wrong steps, and give them absolutely nothing to talk about. That's my best defense. Unfortunately, after all this time, I'm thinking maybe this makes everyone think I'm taking it laying down and that my feelings are inconsequential.
After hours of tearful yet angry three way phone calls, weeks of disarray, and months of reaching for anything to fill that void, I'd be lying if I said I was over it. Those of you on the true inside track have to see that I don't know who the real enemy is. Should I doubt what I've seen and believe that an explanation will come? Should I be pissed that all those words said to me a week ago could've been an alcohol induced oration just to get what was wanted at that moment? Or should I feel sorry for her, for not knowing the truth?
I guess this morning I committed a mild act that could maybe fall into that "crazy bitch" category, but really, you cannot treat me this way. Be honest with me. The problem is that some people have this idea that they can keep doing shit like this to people, and so long as you attempt to be secretive, it's going to stay under wraps.
So I guess I should push it aside for right now, I have a final to take in about half an hour, 20 pages of history crap to write, and a 461 final to study for tonight.

it's who you think it is

i'm feeling selfish

I don't want to do my school work. I want to succeed but not sacrifice any time that I could've spent having fun. I want to sit around all day in my pajamas, and I want someone to come entertain me and watch bad tv with me. I want to have crazy drunken nights that my friends and I will laugh about for years to come. I want to have friends who can hold hilarious and ridiculous conversations just as long as they can hold a serious one. I want to be friendly with boys who make me happy and who don't judge me when I say stupid stuff or when I'm falling apart. I want to go home to someone I legitimately love and get excited about but not have him get mad at me for where I've been and who I've seen. I want to have what we used to have or be completely over him, but I don't want to be where I am right now. I want to be able to love without jealousy and distrust. I want someone to make them feel as hurt and alone as they made me feel. I want them to understand how much it still hurts but to know I do miss the times when we were good. I want things to be simple again.

(And I think I figured out what I want for Christmas. Is it weird that I think I just want a jump drive?)

very merry unbirthday party

me and party host julie!

very merry unbirthday party

I'm so happy!

the old stomping grounds

The house my family grew up in. You can't really see it in this picture, but the new family has a huge trampoline in the back. I'm so jealous!